I first started watching Twin Peaks when I was 10. The parental unit finally twigged what I was into, and I never got to find out who killed Laura Palmer. Until now. Having recently moved to the USA, I've just discovered I've got Twin Peaks on tap. Cue TP marathon. And a realisation that completely eluded me 20 years ago: this show is funny! And full of awesome non sequitur cinematographic gems. Blink and you've missed it. Plus a few of my favourite quotes. Enjoy.

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With special thanks to: 

Glastonberry Grove for the Twin Peaks transcripts,

Twin Peaks Online for the Twin Peaks timeline,

and, last but not the least, the Twin Peaks Gazette for a truckload of trivia.


Hungry for more?… Have some cherry pie:

Gordon Cole: THREE EACH!

I have a strong suspicion David Lynch wrote that role for himself… Just so he could eat pie and snog the lovely Mädchen Amick. But I digress. You’re probably more interested in the recipe:

8 inch Crust: 1-1/2 c. flour, 1/2 c. Crisco, 1/4 c. ice water
Mix flour and Crisco with fork. Add ice water. Mix with your hands. When blended, roll into ball and refrigerate overnight.
To roll out: flour both rolling pin and flat surface, split ball in two, roll out 1/2 to fit pan and 1/2 for lattice.

Filling: 3 c. cherries (pitted, sour frozen); 1 c. water; 1c. Baker’s sugar; 4 T. cornstarch; 1/8 t. salt
Thaw cherries at room temp and strain (yields 2 c. juice). Taste for sweetness, more/less sugar may be needed. Add 1 c. water to make 3 c. juice (reserve 1 c. juice for cornstarch mix). Dissolve cornstarch in 1 c. juice, stir with whip. Combine 2 c. juice, 2/3 c. sugar, salt, and bring to a boil. Add cornstarch mix, cook until clear, about 5 min. (if cooked to long, syrup gets gummy). Remove from heat, stir in 1/3 c. sugar (blend thoroughly). Pour mixture over cherries, fold with wooden spoon, cool (stir mix while cooling to prevent scum from forming on top). Pour mix in pie shell. Top completed pie with lattice crust.

Bake @ 425 degrees for 35-40 min.

Then put your feet up, TP on, and enjoy some home-made pie. At home. Because one should never meet one’s heroes. Though if you decide to go for it after all, you could do worse that retracing lightning in a bottle’s meticulous steps (Part I and Part II).

That’s low.

That’s low.

"I’ve got a joke for you: a couple of penguins are walking across an iceberg and the first one says to the second, “You look like you’re wearing a tuxedo.” And the second one says, “Maybe I am."

- Dale Cooper



Ditto. Though when I mentioned penguins before, I didn’t know they would come up on TP at all. Coincidence and fate, as Coop would say.

"NOW THAT I COME TO MENTION IT, YOU KNOW WHAT I’M IN THE MOOD FOR? A STEAK SO RARE YOU COULD SELL IT AT TIFFANY’S."

- Gordon Cole

I feel a strange urge to purchase a fish tie…

I feel a strange urge to purchase a fish tie…

Wow. Last time I saw this cinematographic trick was when I was watching Donald Duck get bad ideas… A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. (And if the devil also had mustache drawn on his baby face, I’d think this was a homage to the Problem Child.)

Wow. Last time I saw this cinematographic trick was when I was watching Donald Duck get bad ideas… A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. (And if the devil also had mustache drawn on his baby face, I’d think this was a homage to the Problem Child.)

"

They have women agents?

More or less.

"

- Audrey Horne and Special Agent Denise Bryson (statuesque DD in drag)

That’s cruelty to children, that is. (Though the getup still looks better on a kid than an adult…)

That’s cruelty to children, that is. (Though the getup still looks better on a kid than an adult…)

…and he’s caught the bouquet.
Denise: Unfair advantage. How many of those girls were Varsity wide receivers?

…and he’s caught the bouquet.

Denise: Unfair advantage. How many of those girls were Varsity wide receivers?

Could it really be?… David Duchovny being flirtatious… in drag. I guess they couldn’t let there be three tall, dark and handsome… men.
Hawk: That’s a good color for him.

Could it really be?… David Duchovny being flirtatious… in drag. I guess they couldn’t let there be three tall, dark and handsome… men.

Hawk: That’s a good color for him.

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I went in and I… I opened a can of tuna fish. And I waited for whoever it was that was trying to kill me to finish the job. A loaded gun by my side… I was terrified that every moment was going to be my last.

What made you come back?

I ran out of tuna fish.

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- Catherine Martell and Sheriff Truman

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"

Oh, its a pleasure to meet you. God how you must hate us white people after all we’ve done to you.

Some of my best friends are white people.

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- Gwen and Tommy ‘Hawk’ Hill 



What a wonderful way to be condescending. Although coming from Hawk, I could actually buy it. Must be that poker face.

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While I’m at it, I might as well do that: Jerry’s passion for food is seriously addictive.

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Lonely Souls (S2E7) was nearly over and to my utter chagrin I wasn’t finding anything else as beautifully random and amusing as llamas and nose tweaks of the first season, so when the full moon rose again, I settled on putting together a list of Twin Peaks moon antics. (An easy task considering that the hard work of sorting out an exhaustive TP timeline has been already done.) 
Et voilà.